


How to Be a Matchmaker

by Rose_Ten_Yes



Series: How to Be Human [2]
Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005), Torchwood
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, F/M, Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-10-21
Updated: 2015-10-21
Packaged: 2018-04-22 20:37:55
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 419
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4849694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rose_Ten_Yes/pseuds/Rose_Ten_Yes
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set between How to Stop Your Friends from Arguing and How to Ask Someone on a Date.<br/>John and Jack have a talk about their respective partners.</p>
            </blockquote>





	How to Be a Matchmaker

There was a universal rule that any room Jack Harkness entered had alcohol in it. John didn't remember buying or owning beer, but Jack walked right into the kitchen and found it in two seconds. "I'm magic," Jack said cheerily.

"There's no such thing as magic. The closest conceivable substitute-"

"Magic defies science," Jack said casually, "and when has science done you any good, anyway?" John stared at him.

"I'm a scientist. Science is my job."

"A job that keeps you out of the house at odd hours so you and Rose can't dance all night long." John had a sudden urge to slam his head against the table. Instead, he took a drink. "It's a shame, really. Ianto and I have the same work schedule, see, and we get up to all sorts of fun things."

"Tomorrow I'm going to invent something that will wipe every disgusting image you just created out of my head." John drank again. Jack smiled and followed suit.

"You and Rose are welcome to join."

"I'd rather drink bleach."

"It's your own damned fault Ianto and I are together. You shouldn't have played matchmaker at that party if you didn't want to deal with us being in love."

"You were already in love, all I did was almost get beaten up by a drunk idiot. I wasn't trying to... _plan_ anything."

"Then Ianto swooped in to save the day and your plan worked. He and I have been inseperable ever since!" Jack had that look on his face, the one he used when he was mocking John. John did not like that look. "And I wasn't going to beat you up. Just hit you on the shoulder for not flirting with Rose."

"Well then, you apparently confused my face with my shoulder."

"Your face is too gorgeous to mess up," Jack said.

"Thank you."

"Rose must love the way it looks when-"

"I do not want nor need to know how that sentence ends," John interrupted.

"I'm just congratulating myself on my expert matchmaking skills."

John let out a laugh. "What skills? You couldn't get a... a shoe and a sock to go out together."

"Why would I mess around with the love affairs of inanimate objects?" Jack rolled his eyes. " _Anyway_ , if it wasn't for me suggesting you and Rosie go on a date, you'd still be pining after each other."

"You had nothing to do with Rose and I dating each other!" John nearly shouted.

"Sure," Jack allowed. "Whatever you say."


End file.
